Kallio Memorial Service - Snippet

Our Wedding Day - July 13, 1985

Saturday, July 10, 2010

...And We Danced

I was thinking this morning that if I hadn't gone on that first date with Darrell I wouldn't be feeling so sad today. I wouldn't be missing him and I wouldn't cry every time I say his name or see his picture. I wasn't even sure I wanted to go out with him, but I did think he was pretty cute. I met him at a bowling alley of all places. He bowled on a man's league and I on the women's league. Darrell was a roamer, in other words he was always roaming around visiting with everyone. All evening long you could hear them paging him to return to his lane because it was his turn to bowl.
I was on my way out the door of the bowling alley when he tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I'd like to go to dinner sometime. So I gave him my number but, I didn't really give it much thought. Why I don't know. I guess I didn't really expect him to call for some reason. A few days later when he called I had actually forgotten all about it. We were on the phone for several hours just talking about anything and everything and our first date was the same way. I think that had to be one of the longest dates I've ever been on. He picked me up about seven and we went to dinner. It got a little interesting when we happened to run into his married daughter. Nothing big deal just wasn't expecting it. Darrell was 11 years older then me so it just seemed strange to be on a date with a man with married kids. Especially since, at that time, most women my age were still having babies. After dinner we went dancing. I am no dancer, although I do enjoy it, I'm just a little too self conscious about not looking like an idiot. With Darrell you really didn't need to know how to dance yourself, he was so smooth and with his hand in the small of my back leading me, I felt like I knew what I was doing. We closed the place and then went to breakfast, it's a good thing I-Hop is 24 hours because we sat there for 3 hours talking. We had so many things in common and yet so different. He was so outgoing and I'm more quiet and reserved. At least I'm quiet until you get to know me, then I never shut-up. In fact all the years we were married we would argue over whose turn it was to talk. Darrell was just such a welcoming person that I found him easy to be with and comfortable, so that first date was really special.
From that first date we became inseparable. Literally in just a few weeks we knew we wanted to be together forever. Our first date was towards the end of November and on January 1st he asked me to marry him.
Darrell and I shared a belief that God prepares us for our future through our life experiences. It was to be our time.......
“He felt now that he was not simply close to her,
but that he did not know where he ended and she began."
Author -Leo Tolstoy

To be continued........


  1. Oh, my! My first 4 dates with Man, were to dances. I cannot wait to read part 2 - - -

    Such a love story, so well written.

  2. I enjoy reading your stories, Terri. I'm still saddened by your loss, though. I think of you so often and am so glad we've connected. Just hang on.

  3. Thank you Carol and Becky - it does help me to write it all down. I think Tolstoy's words that "he didn't know where he ended and she began", pretty much says it all for me. I am trying to hang on, some days by a thread - but, I am trying to find new joys in my life.

  4. Terri - Reading your wonderful memories of your Darrell and your sadness over his loss, brings me back to my own memories and sorrow when my husband died in 1993.

    Please know that you *will* one day be able to look at Darrell's photos - yes with a feeling of sadness and loss but not the profound grief you feel right now. It does get easier, less severe a feeling of grief.

    But it takes time - a long time. Be kind to yourself and don't rush yourself.