...And We Danced - The only Silver I ever wanted...

Have you ever had a day or a moment that is embedded in your mind so deep that you are able to relive it whenever you want? For me it was the events of July 13, 1985. I woke up that morning excited. My mind was racing a mile a minute sorting out all the things I needed to do before 3 O'clock. I needed to make sure I had my clothes, makeup and sundries together and in the car. There was a crucial hair appointment, flowers to pick up and a zillion little last minute things to do. The time was racing so fast and I was starting to get very nervous. Everything needed to be just right and the way I had planned it to be. For you see July 13th, 1985 was to be my wedding day, the day I would begin my life with Darrell.
Everything seemed to be going on schedule; so why with every tick of the clock was I getting more and more nerved up. Of course it didn't help that my Maid of Honor's two teenage daughters kept asking me if I was getting nervous every five minutes. I kept thinking if I could just spend 5 minutes with Darrell I would calm down, but, of course that would be bad luck.

Our wedding ceremony was held in my Aunt's back yard and it was a beautiful July afternoon. But, as my Dad walked me to where we were going to say our vows I started to shake. I don't mean just a little either – I mean visibly shaking. It wasn't like I had any doubts – I don't know what the deal was. What I do know was that Darrell could see how badly I was shaking, he reached down and grabbed my arms and just kept giving me these gentle little squeezes and suddenly I just stopped shaking. He was able to do that our entire life together. There was just something about the way he would hold me that made things alright. I think that's one of the things that's so hard about dealing with him being gone – I just know if he could just hold me for a few minutes even, things would be better.
Last year when we celebrated our 24th Anniversary I told him I wanted to have a party for our 25th. After all it would be our Silver Anniversary and to me that was a big deal! I've given so many birthday parties, surprise parties, anniversary parties for everyone else I really felt it was our turn. It's the only Silver I ever wanted but, it wasn't to be.

 Today I may shed tears for the Anniversaries that will never be but also smile for the ones we did share.


For Darrell,
 

Happy Anniversary my love! I see you in the shadows and hear your voice whispering on the wind. How many chapters must I write to hold all the memories of our walk through this world? Is it really possible to sum up the hours in our lives with mere words? Or must our hearts listen to the sweet music of our souls. Even though I cannot reach out and touch you, somehow I still feel your embrace as we danced to life's tune. I still feel the warmth of your soft kiss upon my forehead, as you so often did. You came into my life so unexpected and unexpectedly you were gone.

“Until death do we Part”, wedding vows taken so long ago, seem unreal to me now. For death does not separate us from love that fills our hearts, it is only a temporary detour in the journey. We all experience bumps and bruises in life as well as moments of pure joy. You and I shared a belief that God had a plan for us and it was through life's trials that we would be prepared for our life together. Our walk was not without it's obstacles, it would be ridiculous for me to say it was, for we both know there were many. But, those obstacles are only small challenges when love stands watch.

So sweet one for now we must say adieu. God has chosen a new path for me and you. But, I will look for you today in the shadows of my heart and listen for you calling me upon the gentle wind. Till we meet again, when God calls me home, I will hold you in my heart and always remember when we walked in this world hand in hand and danced to the music of our love.

Happy Anniversary my sweet one – I will always love you – Forever and a Day.

Me...

Please enjoy with me the 4 minute slide show of our wedding day. Please click the double bars on the playlist on the right side before starting the slide show so that the music doesn't interfere with the music in slide show.

...And We Danced - Mr. Popular and The Plain Brown Wrapper

Our First Picture Together

(Wish I was still that skinny - geeze)

Everyone loved to dance with Darrell and I never minded when he would dance with someone else's wife. I have just always been too self conscious to shake my booty the way he did, oh how he loved to get down and do the dirty boogie. I let him have his fun, however, slow songs belonged to me and me alone!

During Darrell's high school days he was quite the “sports jock” and very popular with the girls. Last summer when we went to Minnesota for his 50th class reunion we went to town to do some laundry and a woman came over to him and said: “You're Darrell Kallio aren't you?” When he said he was but didn't recognize her, she responded: “I thought so, my Dad used to talk about you all the time!” So he asked who her dad was and of course he did know him. That was all it took for him to start telling one of his stories about the “olden-golden days of Cook, Minnesota”. I loved listening to his stories, but after the 100th time of hearing them, I would say, “You've told me that story before.” Of course he would ignore that and continue with it once more. I wish he was here right now I'd gladly listen a dozen more times.


When we first started dating I really wondered why he asked me out and not my friend who bowled with me. After all she was drop dead gorgeous and I am more of a plain brown wrapper. As I said before he was Mr. Popular with the girls in his day and even as a middle aged man he had a lot going for him. (Just as a side note – he had a really cute little butt – tee hee.) I asked him once why in the world he would have asked me out in the first place, he clearly could have had his pick. He told me that he saw something else in me that was more important to him. Ahhhhhh – sweet yes? Of course then in his teasing way he added: “Besides that Pat was in front of you so you were the closest one.” To which I told him he was a jerk, ok I probably used a different term than jerk, but I'm not going to write that here. Of course he laughed because once again he got my goat. And then reminded me that he loved me and that was all that really mattered any way.


Life with Darrell was not all romance and candle light. There were some big, big issues that nearly tore our lives apart in more ways than one that I'll share as time goes on. But, one thing that always remained, regardless of the problems, was our deep commitment to each other.


I think it was the sweetness of the music I could hear playing in Darrell's heart that made me want to dance to life's melody with him. His soft and gentle touch on my back kept me safe. In him I found my dwelling place; a place that was warm even in the darkest storm. He was the one who could comfort me in times of trial. Even though our song has ended I can still recall the dance..........

….And We Danced – Will be continued

...And We Danced - Do you remember your first kiss?

Do you remember the first time you kissed your true love?  Me too!  We were on our second date at a popular Western bar here called “The Sundowner".  It was a fun place; they had a huge dance floor and always a live band. I’m not one to drink alcohol and would be happier with a cup of coffee, but I do remember that that night I had an amaretto and 7-up. The band had been playing a lot of “Alabama’s” songs, one of my favorite bands. During the break we were sitting across from each other. I had both hands on the table when Darrell reached across and took both of them in his. I recall his hands were so warm and we both seemed to be lost in each others eyes. It felt like a scene from a movie, it was one of those sweet moments that you never forget. When the band came back they opened with a Willie Nelson song. Willie was Darrell’s favorite. The song was “You Were Always on My Mind”, nice and slow,  my kind of song.  Darrell slowly twirled me around and then did that triple twirl thing, where they guy goes under the girls arm (I have no idea what you call that.) and then twirls the girl again. It was a slow twirl though and when he brought me back around he looked at me and leaned down and gave me a kiss. And not one of those little peck’y kisses either; this was a soft sweet loving kiss. Oh be still my heart! It seems like yesterday and yet so long ago.



I guess I am glad that I went on that first date after all. I would have missed so much had I said no.
 
...And We Danced will be continued.

...And We Danced

I was thinking this morning that if I hadn't gone on that first date with Darrell I wouldn't be feeling so sad today. I wouldn't be missing him and I wouldn't cry every time I say his name or see his picture. I wasn't even sure I wanted to go out with him, but I did think he was pretty cute. I met him at a bowling alley of all places. He bowled on a man's league and I on the women's league. Darrell was a roamer, in other words he was always roaming around visiting with everyone. All evening long you could hear them paging him to return to his lane because it was his turn to bowl.
I was on my way out the door of the bowling alley when he tapped me on the shoulder and asked if I'd like to go to dinner sometime. So I gave him my number but, I didn't really give it much thought. Why I don't know. I guess I didn't really expect him to call for some reason. A few days later when he called I had actually forgotten all about it. We were on the phone for several hours just talking about anything and everything and our first date was the same way. I think that had to be one of the longest dates I've ever been on. He picked me up about seven and we went to dinner. It got a little interesting when we happened to run into his married daughter. Nothing big deal just wasn't expecting it. Darrell was 11 years older then me so it just seemed strange to be on a date with a man with married kids. Especially since, at that time, most women my age were still having babies. After dinner we went dancing. I am no dancer, although I do enjoy it, I'm just a little too self conscious about not looking like an idiot. With Darrell you really didn't need to know how to dance yourself, he was so smooth and with his hand in the small of my back leading me, I felt like I knew what I was doing. We closed the place and then went to breakfast, it's a good thing I-Hop is 24 hours because we sat there for 3 hours talking. We had so many things in common and yet so different. He was so outgoing and I'm more quiet and reserved. At least I'm quiet until you get to know me, then I never shut-up. In fact all the years we were married we would argue over whose turn it was to talk. Darrell was just such a welcoming person that I found him easy to be with and comfortable, so that first date was really special.
From that first date we became inseparable. Literally in just a few weeks we knew we wanted to be together forever. Our first date was towards the end of November and on January 1st he asked me to marry him.
 
Darrell and I shared a belief that God prepares us for our future through our life experiences. It was to be our time.......
 

“He felt now that he was not simply close to her,

but that he did not know where he ended and she began."

Author -Leo Tolstoy

To be continued........